Running with Scissors

Yes, I know Running with Scissors is the title of a new movie starring Annette Bening and Brian Cox. And no, I’m not that interested in seeing it (although the critics are predicting an Oscar nomination for Annette Bening’s fantastic performance).

That’s not why I titled my post.

I’m actually writing about a disturbing Discover credit card ad I saw on TV last night. I had seen parts of this new ad while watching TV before but never the whole thing. When I did, it was VERY disturbing.

The ad shows thousands (maybe millions) of child-sized scissors dancing in the street. People just stare at the scissors at first, but then eventually everyone begin throwing their credit cards to the happy little scissors. In one scene, a lady “feeds” the scissors with her credit card, much like one would feed the birds. In another scene, a mother lets her child in a stroller gleefully feed the scissors. The ad ends with what seems to be a ticker tape parade for the scissors.

Now, am I the only one who would FREAK OUT if this really happened? If scissors developed minds and took to the streets? Exactly how safe would it be to have thousands of sharp implements crowding our streets? What if they stopped being happy? What if they turned on us? It’s like something straight out of a Stephen King novel.

And why on earth would a mother encourage her child to PLAY with a possibly unstable pair of scissors?

Overall, I think the marketing people at Discover did not think this one through. From now on, when I see that commercial, I’m going to think of people’s bloodied corpses tossed by the wayside as scissors take over the world.

Meanwhile, I’ve taken all my scissors and locked them in my drawer.

Better safe than sorry.