A Literary Evening

I could have used a friend like Carleen in high school.

As I make friends in my adult life, I will occasionally ask them, “What were you like in high school?” I’m just curious, and I find it interesting that a lot of them say, “Oh, you wouldn’t have liked me.” Now, since a lot of my friends view me as a “religious” person who tends to be a bit of a goody two shoes (doesn’t swear, doesn’t get drunk…), what they mean by this is that they were a little “wild” in high school.

My friend Carleen told me that she was smart, proud of it, and (like me) avoided the Stepford-student pep rallies that seems to be a requirement for every school. She signed up for extra study halls, more homework, and had a group of like-minded friends.

Well, I would have loved a group of like-minded friends. Or even a friend WITH a mind. Unfortunately, my private school was of the opinion that girls weren’t supposed to be smart and treated me like a kind of circus sideshow – I was the one who “slipped” through, the exception to the rule.

I met Carleen my first day at my current job, over six years ago. I pulled into the parking lot and saw a beautiful woman in bright, billowy turquoise pants and shiny waist-length hair striding confidently across the parking lot. Later, I learned her name was Carleen.

As this was my first “real” job out of college, I was nervous and a little afraid of my co-workers who all seemed so sure of what they were doing and ready to condemn me for any mistake. So, for the first few days, I ate lunch at my desk buried in work and obsessing about how to please my imposing new boss. Then one day, Carleen stuck her head around my office door and asked if I wanted to eat lunch with her in the lounge. I was so relieved – a friend amongst the Philistines!

Over the next couple of months, Carleen and I became fast friends. We enjoyed each other’s company and weathered a few friendship storms along the way. I’ve had some of the funniest times of my life with Carleen and definitely the longest laugh of my life. I’ve also shared poignant times with her. When she decided to take another job (the same week in which she found out she was pregnant), I wrote her a letter that still makes me cry when I re-read it today.

She is smart, kind, and honest – really honest – the kind of honest that doesn’t hold anything back when you really need to hear the truth. I’m so grateful to God for bringing her into my life. And I’m grateful to her for continuing to be my friend even though we don’t see each other every day anymore!

Carleen and I have put real effort into continuing our friendship. We still try to get together every couple of weeks for dinner, dessert, a movie, or anything! And no matter how late we stay out, the evening is always over way too soon, and we still have so much to talk about. That’s the way I like to leave an evening out – like there was still so much to say.

Well, last Thursday, Carleen invited me to a Girl’s Night hosted by the Rockford Public Library. We went and listened to two authors discuss their books and their writing process. It was delightful – although…we were led to believe the smoothies and manicures were free, when in fact they were not, and knowing Carleen as the frugal and responsible person that she is…I kissed them goodbye in my head.

The first author wrote several bestselling chick-lit books. She was very down to earth and wonderfully honest and frank about writing and the real life publishing world.

The second author was Kimberla Lawson Roby, a local Rockford author who has written several best-selling fiction books dealing with women’s issues and relationships. Carleen has read several of her books. I haven’t, but after hearing her talk about them, I plan to read them soon.

Ms. Lawson Roby was inspiring and down to earth. I felt an instant kinship with her upon hearing her kind words about Weight Watchers and discovering she has no children – and a successful career. Her self review of her books was funny and moving. It takes a lot for me to want to read something other that action, suspense, mystery, thriller, or science fiction books. And, after listening to her, I definitely wanted to check these out!

She also gave some advice to inspiring authors. She said it was important to “Write something every day. Even if it’s crap. Write a couple pages of it. Eventually, you’ll get rid of the crap, and your story will take shape.” Well, that was convicting advice. I know I need to write everyday. And when I sit down to do it, I love it. It is just that I get so distracted! I end up watching TV or doing household chores – or the worst offense – reading!

So, I have renewed vigor and excitement about my writing. I’ve been trying to find my hobby everywhere else – card-making, candle-making, etc. When all I should be doing is writing!

Well, after the lecture, Carleen helped me with some story ideas. She’s been super supportive of my writing and will tell me flat out if something stinks or is inspired. And I admire her honesty – writers can get cranky when other people criticize. But, since I know Carleen is sincere and trying to make me a better writer, I begrudgingly appreciate it.

As we got back to my car and were sitting in the blissfully warm seats of her car talking and laughing, I had a flashback of me sitting alone in seventh hour study hall while my classmates chanted “Ninety-Six, Ninety-Six, Nine-Nine-Ninety-Six” in the auditorium at the top of their lungs. Well, finally I had some company in that lonely study hall in my head. There was a girl, like me, glad to escape the school spirit zombies, and find refuge in books, intelligent conversations, and real friendship.

Thanks, Carly!