There are days when I am especially grateful to be an only child. In fact, most days I feel this way. The only time I wasn’t glad about my “only” status was when my Dad died, and I didn’t have anyone to share the burden of taking care of Mom. But most days it feels great!
Only children can have all sorts of fun with comments like:
My parents believed in quality, not quantity
I’m my parent’s favorite. No, really, I am
And so on…there are lots of things I love (and loved) about being an only child. I’ll have to write a post on that sometime, but the post today is about something I completely do not understand…siblings!
My husband has four siblings – two sisters and two brothers. They are all married and have kids. At a recent family gathering, we noticed Brett’s one brother and his wife were acting “cool” toward us. Well, it bothered us, and on the way home that evening, we called their home to see if something was the matter. As far as we knew, we hadn’t done anything to offend them. When Brett got a hold of them, they gave him the “brush off” and said they were “too busy” to talk.
We just shrugged our shoulders and waited to see what would happen. Well, today, Brett called his brother, and it turns out they ARE mad at us. As Brett recounted the “reasons” to me, I couldn’t believe it, because:
a.) They were stupid reasons
b.) This is a family that is SUPPOSED to be Christians!
Anyway, here are the reasons:
Reason 1:
When Brett’s mom died, we traveled up to Geneva and stayed with this brother and his family. When their son developed appendicitis, we figured that the last thing they needed was houseguests and headed over to stay with Brett’s other brother. Apparently, they are mad at us because we didn’t offer to watch their other children while they went to the hospital.
My response:
They didn’t ask us to watch their kids! We would have totally done it if they’d asked. We were tired, traumatized, and not thinking straight. How they could hold this as a grudge for a year and a half, I just don’t know!
Reason 2:
Apparently, someone told them that I said the dress they buried my mother-in-law in was “not her color.”
My response:
Okay,
a.) I never said that, and
b.) Even if I had said that – it could have been out of grief, or even just an opinion, but that doesn’t matter, because
c.) I never said that
Reason 3:
Brett’s brother told him that we always “blow them off” when it comes to special events.
My response:
“Well, give us a little more warning.” They call us the day before the event and then expect us to drop everything to run to little Joey or Joshie’s birthday. We have plans on the weekends, and if you’d let us know about the party at least a week in advance – we’d plan to be there. That is just as much your fault as it is ours!
Reason 4:
When we were staying with them after Brett’s mom died (but before the Appendicitis Episode – in which we were so apparently un-thoughtful), my sister-in-law and I had (what I thought) was a really good heart-to-heart conversation. Afterwards, we both kept saying how good it was to get to know one another better. Well, now it comes out that I apparently said to her, “Wow, you’re not as bad as everyone says you are!”
My Response:
Now, you know me, so you know I would NEVER say that! Unbelievable! It’s like they just decided to start pulling things out of the air.
Reason 5:
Now, we’re getting down to brass tacks. Here’s the granddaddy of reasons – Brett’s brother told him that Brett must not love his family because he moved away!
My response:
Hello! I’ve got family, too! And besides, Brett wanted to move here. His brothers and sisters always treated him like a baby, so he wanted to get the heck out of Dodge. And Brett’s parents had 5 kids!!! There are four families right there to take care of his mom and dad. My mom and dad only had I child!!! Who would take care of my mom, huh? No one, that’s who! So there!
Continued Familial Ramblings:
The weird thing is that I can think of numerous things Brett and I could be (or have been) offended at. This particular brother and his family have never come to visit us, even though it is only and hour and a half away – yet, we manage to get up there every couple of months. Or how he broke his mother’s heart by eloping and not letting her see her firstborn son get married – or other things, but we’ve never mentioned them! We were trying to be Christ-like!
So, now we’ve got to figure out how to handle the situation. I can’t imagine going to another family gathering and seeing them there. Both Brett and I want to get this resolved, but we’re just not sure how. We are both a little stressed out about the whole situation – we’ve been praying about it, and hopefully the Lord will lead us to do the right thing.
But right now, I feel sorry for Brett having to go through this.
And, like I said, I’m feeling grateful that I’m an only child!
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