Craving Catalogs

I harbor a secret love of catalogs!

Brett will tell you that I attack each catalog armed with sticky-notes and avidly mark every page with my “must haves.” Now, of course, I rarely actually ever buy anything, but going through each catalog is like a virtual shopping spree.

It makes me happy, because I love to shop and just the mere possibility that I might actually buy some of these things gets me excited. It makes Brett happy, because I’m happy without him having to spend any money.

My favorite catalog is What on Earth (www.whatonearthcatalog.com). I ran across their website one day while googling my dad’s name – Bob. It turned out that they had a whole collection of “Bob” wear. Sweatshirts, T-shirts, drinking glasses, nightlights, calendars, throws, pillows, and even more.

Well, everyone knows I much I loved my dad. So, I bought a cheery red sweatshirt that proclaimed me as “Bob’s Daughter.” I’ve had many people stop me on the street and ask where I got it. Almost all of them had a “Bob” in their life!

Anyway, back to the catalog – ever since then, I’ve been on their mailing list. A lot of the stuff is junk, but some of it is just downright funny.

I just thought I’d “catalog” (ha, ha) them for you!

T-Shirts:
Honorary Ooompa Loompa

Best Marriage Advice: Love, Honor, and Negotiate

Empty Promises, Calculated Betrayal, Sociopathic Greed, Just Another Monday.

Freelancers Unite! Say 10-ish at the coffee house?

I may not be right, but I sure can sound like it.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else

Cereal Killer

I drive way too fast to worry about my cholesterol.

Eat well. Stay fit. Die anyway.

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

It’s better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho the rest of your life.

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

Normal is relative. Just not my relatives.

With luck and planning, I’ll retire at 149.

You see three braches of government. I see firewood.

God loves you. But I’m His favorite.

Overly Caucasian. Do not place on dance floor.

Always late. But worth the wait.

National Spelling Bee Runnerer-Up

Left Handed but Always Right

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

Friends are God’s way of apologizing for your relatives.

If the definition of beauty gets any thinner, no one will fit.

Visualize Whirled Peas

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

Baby rompers:
General Mayhem (in camouflage)

Major Trouble (in camouflage)

Bundle of Oy

Nobody puts Baby in a corner!

Oh, come let us adore me!

Look at it this way. In 40 years, I’ll be changing your diapers.

Aprons:
My cooking hasn’t killed anyone. Yet.

Many have eaten here. Few have died.

I’m sorry. Your opinion wasn’t in the recipe.

I have a kitchen only because it came with the house.

On a Serious Note:
On a plaque -
And if I go while you’re still here…

Know that I still live on,
Vibrating to a different measure
Behind a thin veil you cannot see though.

You will not see me,
So you must have faith.

I wait the time when we can soar together again,
Both aware of each other.

Until then, live your life to the fullest.
And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart,
…I will be there.

My absolute favorite:
On a plaque -
Here’s to good women.
May we know them.
May we be them.
May we raise them.

My other favorite catalog is Signals (www.signals.com). They have a much more classy selection!

Happy shopping!