Loving My MV – No, Not Really

Well, well, Aunt Flo is back in town.

When you’re me (and I am), getting my Monthly Visitor is always a surprise. I have a really whacked out system!

When I was on birth control, my MV was always right on time, lasted for four days, and had very few of the more unpleasant side effects. Ever since I’ve been off BC, ever since we’ve been trying to get pregnant, my MV has gone back to the unpredictable roller coaster I *et-hem* “enjoyed” in high school.

Getting my MV is a bittersweet experience. It means that we are YET AGAIN, NOT PREGNANT. But, it also means that my PCOS and Diabetes are NOT WINNING, either.

Ever since I’ve been on Metformin, my cycle has returned to a somewhat normal schedule. It lasts more than four days, though, and includes those unpleasant side effects I mentioned earlier. Before the Met, I was going three or four very painful, very emotional, MONTHS before getting the-mother-of-all MV’s.

So, I have my MV this week. I got it on Friday, and it really intensified on Sunday. I stayed home from church and just lay on the couch with my friend – the heating pad. I watched the remaining two Quantum Leap’s on my Netflix DVD, Notting Hill, AND the gorgeous Christian Bale’s Batman Begins – all before Brett got home from church.

Brett has weird fascination with my MV. Despite growing up with two sisters and the requisite public school health class, he didn’t know a whole lot about the female system until we got married.

Get this – he thought all women got their period on the SAME day and that it lasted for ONE day. I told him, “Honey that would be one VERY BAD day for the world.”

Anyway, Brett’s fascination with my MV leads him to treat me like a china doll the whole time I’m on it. He goes out of his way to give me back massages and foot rubs. And, since he knows I barely feel like moving, he’ll grab dinner and bring it home.

Yesterday, on his way home from church, he called me and found out what I wanted from Panera. I told him their YUMMY Cream of Chicken and Wild Rice Soup and a tuna sandwich, plain (except for cheese), on Three Cheese Semolina Bread.

Well, when he got home with the soup and sandwich, I discovered the sandwich had lettuce (yuck), tomato (yuck) onion (not-so-yuck) and mustard (double-double yuck).

When I asked him WHY, he said, “Oh that’s right. You don’t like that stuff.” I was like, “How long have we been together – 10 years – and you still don’t know this stuff? Sheesh!”

But I couldn’t come down too hard on him. The man did bring me lunch, after all.

So, I get to look forward to a painful, cramping week with my lovely MV. Stupid MV - even though I’m grateful for it. At least I can look forward to those back massages and sympathy from my husband.

Oh, and he bought me Diet Coke, too, from the store. I didn’t ask him, but he knows I love it (although I rarely buy it for myself) and that the caffeine helps ward off the yucky parts of my MV. Oh, and he bought me CHOCOLATE, too.

Thank goodness my MV is no match for my GH – great husband!