I have a headache. And I’m all stuffed up. It’s probably sinus stuff. Weather related.
Whatever the case, I feel like a slow-moving slug today! I have a deadline looming – in fact, I’m PAST my deadline, and I’m nowhere near the point in the project I would like to be. I’m probably going to come in on Saturday to get caught up.
This is where I am envious of people who don’t have to work with deadlines. I feel the same way about people (like my factory-worker husband) whose jobs get done while they are away on vacation. When I come back from vacation, my work is still all there, piled high on my desk, waiting for ME to finish it. I KNOW I choose to work at a job with deadlines, but I hate ‘em with a passion.
I read somewhere that only children don’t work well with deadlines. We DO work well under pressure, but we tend to procrastinate and then when things get too big for us, we are easily overwhelmed. Don’t worry, there’s probably a “birth order” explanation to the problems that plague you, too.
Not that long ago, my cousin Charity recommended I read a birth order book. As kids, the two of us had a lot of discussions about how she thought I got everything I ever wanted as an only child (and was a spoiled brat – only somewhat true), and I thought she was the luckiest girl in the world to have a brother and two sisters.
I’m really glad I read the book, since I did learn a lot about myself. Most of what was said about only children DID apply to me. Some of it was new to me, but I found myself nodding in recognition:
The only child develops only child characteristics from having to cope with playing alone and with having to fend off adult intrusion.
Characteristic Bad Feeling: Frustration
Strategies for survival: Imaginary companions, two speeds (fast and slow) for doing things
Felt Loss: Freedom
Sense of Justice: Everyone should be treated equally
Thought Pattern: Organization
T-shirt: "Leave me alone, I'd rather do it myself"
Childhood Behavior: Emotional, Obedient
Emotional Expression: demonstrative, tantrums
Source of Anger: Intrusion
Nature of Humor: Sarcasm
Means of Relating: Projection
Relational: Feels others' feelings, fixer of problems
The Child Within: Smothered
Type of Procrastination: Put off big jobs while doing little jobs
Blind spot: What others think/feel
Boundaries: Has them for self and others
A walk in the woods: Stays on the path
Careers: Radio Announcer, Finance, Teaching, Ministry, Management
Strengths: Organizing, Stability
Parenting: Allows children time and space
Marriage: Tries to meet partner's expectations
As Friend: Emotional, Considerate
Social Contributions: Organizational leadership, authors of self-help books
Expression of Love: Worry
Driving Style: As if everyone is going to do the right thing
Listening Style: Puts own meaning into others' words
Common Phrase: "You know"
Responds To: "I don't know about you but...."
Only children may have characteristics of either the first born or the youngest child. Adler (1964) believed that because only children have no rivals for their parents' affection, they may be pampered and spoiled by their parents, particularly the mother. He suggested that this could cause later interpersonal difficulties if the person is not universally liked and admired.
Another view of only children, as noted by Alissa Eischens in her paper The Dilemma of the Only Child is that they learn to be children on their own, they learn to depend on themselves, and they have no problem being loners.
Naturally introverted only children may show extroverted qualities if he or she wishes to make friends. On the other hand, naturally extroverted children may learn to show introverted qualities by being content to focus on their thoughts when playmates are unavailable.
I really identified with the nature of humor (sarcastic) and the type of procrastination (SO true for me). Now, of course, I often think of those things when my deadlines loom, and I start to feel overwhelmed.
Oh well, tomorrow is another day, and I have Saturday, too, so hopefully, I’ll be able to get everything done.