Sugar Sister

Candice came over on Thursday night so we could combine all our addresses for her upcoming baby shower.

I love that she is finally starting to show, and I can now talk to the baby without looking like a complete idiot!

As we started our invitation list, we discovered:

a.) We have an extremely large family
b.) Candice has no shortage of good friends
c.) We invited as many of Aunt Kathy’s friends, as we did Candice’s friends
d.) Colleen is a really quick decision maker
(which turns everything I thought I knew about the Boehms upside down! Ha! Ha!)

When we came to an impasse of should-we-invite-them-or-do-they-live-too-far-away-or-will-they-be-offended Candice just called Colleen up, and Colleen was completely decisive. “No. You’d just be wasting money.”

Thanks, Colleen! Candice and I hemmed and hawed for thirty minutes before she finally called you.

After our exhaustive list-making and address-writing-down, we took a break to enjoy some TV with My Name Is Earl, The Office, and a surprisingly funny 30 Rock (I’m not usually a fan). The Office was a birthday episode and there was shot after shot of all different kinds of birthday cake.

Candice looked at me. I looked at Candice.

“I really want a cupcake now.” I told her.

“I was just thinking that,” she told me.

“I’m going to make a cake!” I decided.

“I’ll help you…eat it,” Candice offered.

I went in search of a cake mix which I did have, but I didn’t have any eggs so that was out. I rooted out my mother-in-law’s cookbook and found a Moist Chocolate Cake recipe that didn’t call for eggs.

While I slaved over a hot stove, Brett and Candice talked about their jobs. Since they work at the same place, they could commiserate. I just listened, shaking my head occasionally, thanking God I don’t work for the home improvement industry.

Brett hinted around at asking if Candice had a birth “coach” yet, and let her know he’d be more than happy to help if she needed a guy around “for some reason.” It was really sweet.

Candice was appreciative, but she told us she’s pretty sure there will be no shortage of people trying to burst into the room, so she’ll probably be okay. That’s what happens when you have a ton of family and really good friends. Still, she knows we’re her back-up, if needed. We’ll be there for her. (whether she wants us or not, she’s stuck!).

I let the cake cool for about five seconds before I sampled it. It was…definitely a cake made with no eggs. Thankfully, I had a can of Duncan Hines Milk Chocolate Frosting which made the cake taste absolutely delicious.

Of course, the right frosting can make even corrugated cardboard taste absolutely delicious.

It didn’t hurt that one can of frosting contains about the same amount of sugar as a life size Willy Wonka…made out of Peeps.

It was so delicious! Candice and I enjoyed our treat, and popped in a Dr. Quinn episode to keep us entertained.

Normally, I like Dr. Quinn, but this particular episode was not very well-written or acted. And it featured the “new” Colleen.

“I don’t remember that girl,” Candice confided.

“It’s the new Colleen,” Brett said helpfully. “We’re not big fans.”

Ha! Ha! My words are finally making a dent in his consciousness!

As the episode wore on, Candice and I couldn’t help ourselves. The story centered on a woman who was infertile by means of a rare condition where she was born with no uterus.

For some reason, the word “uterus” made us giggle like ten years olds in a public school health class.

We started inserting our own dialogue. Actual conversations include:

Dr. Quinn: We’re going to protect our children, Sully!
Me: And their uteruses!

New Colleen: Brian, I’m so cold.
Candice: My uterus hurts!

Sully: We’ll do anything to make Colleen well again.
Me: I’ll donate my uterus!

We also enjoyed an extreme overacting performance by the new Colleen in which she manages to contract pneumonia in one day after she falls in a creek.

After a quick cure by Dr. Quinn, Candice remarked, “Well, if you can get it in one day, I guess it can be cured in one day.”

The night went way too fast and before we knew it, it was time for Candice to head home. We just love it when Candice comes over. She’s just herself around us and doesn’t mind it if we are our slouchy, slobby selves.

Perhaps the best thing about Candice is how she makes me laugh and laugh.

Until my uterus hurts.