Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Psycho (somatic)

My back had been causing me some difficulty lately. Just little twinges of pain here and there. For a while it was just occasionally, but for the past two days, it’s been pretty constant.

The thing about back pain is that - until you have it - you don’t realize how much you take a healthy back for granted. Case in point, you don’t realize how much a sneeze can hurt until you sneeze with a sore back.

I felt like someone punched their way through my back, ripped out my spinal column, and used it tame rebellious tigers into submission.

My back pain was there for the past two days, but it was livable. However, last night something really strange happened.

I went to bed with a slightly sore back, figuring rest would help.

I had a very vivid dream.

I was riding in a car with a strange woman with dark hair. As we were riding on the highway, she turned to me with a sympathetic look and said, “It just can’t be helped. There’s nothing we can do. Just hope for the best.”

I felt this crushing sense of impending doom.

Looking out the windshield, I saw a long silver-colored concrete tube, about 4 feet high, in the middle of the road ahead of us. The woman pushed the gas pedal to the floor, hurling us toward the tube.

The car smashed into the tube, and we were vaulted high into the air.

Everything suddenly went into slow motion.

I could see the car turn over and felt my seatbelt tighten around my midsection. Suddenly, I found myself in the grip of fear as I looked at the other woman. She smiled sadly at me, and somehow I knew she wanted to die.

The sad smile was for me - because maybe I didn’t want to die, too.

As the car landed with a sickening thud on its top, I felt a rush of pain through my whole body and sat straight up in bed.

My back was vibrating with pain.

Even now, I’m not sure if my dream was corresponding with my back pain in the real world, or if my dream somehow actually invaded my physical reality.

Either way, I hurt. And badly.

I called in sick to work today and have been moving around the house like an old woman. I did find that if I rest for several hours, I’m able to move better.

I’m not sure if this is my body’s way of telling me I need to slow down, or not. But for now, I’m taking it one step (and one sneeze) at a time.

Why can’t I dream about winning the lottery? Huh?


Anonymous said...

No kidding! I am sorry that your back is hurting at all. Pain, especially when we don't exactly know why or what to do about it... is hard to handle. I hope you are able to recover soon.

WendyJanelle said...

YIKES!! That would probably make me pee the bed. I mean, YIKES!!
Wow. I think you watch too many scary movies, or read too many twisted books.

And, in my not-so-expert opinion, I'd guess that your back hurt so much, your mind was focusing on it and caused the dream. I had strange and vivid dreams about my tooth pain on Saturday and Sunday night, and I hurt worse each morning. Bizarre how our minds try to work through the pain. Imagine how cancer patients must dream... :-(

I hope you are on the mend quickly. Heat usually helps. Hot bath, heating pad, rest. And don't lie flat on your back, the pressure on your spine can make things worse.

Heidi said...

Lie on your side (supposedly left,b ut since you are left handed, maybe your right side would be better) with a pillow between your knees. That is how they tell pregnant women to sleep to be comfortable. Just thought it might help.

Alice said...

Yeah, all that. And maybe some Vicodin or something.

Hope you feel better soon!

CANDICE said...

Put a pillow between your legs while you lay sideways. What have you been doing girl.