I’m not a parent. (I heard those of you who sighed in relief).
My inexperience leads me to ask many, many questions of my friends who ARE parents. These people give me a great eagle-eye perspective on life inside the family bubble. I especially love my friend Angie’s insight as a mom to five very active (and wildly creative) youngsters.
I remember once when Angie suggested we eat at Red Robin. We sat there shouting our conversation as kids screamed, yelled, and swung wildly on the vines over our tables (okay, not really, but it felt like it). On our way out of the restaurant, I remarked on the experience using words like “rambunctious,” “annoying,” “ear-drum-bursting,” and “duct tape.”
Angie just got out her keys and gave me blank stare over the top of her car. “Now imagine living with it 24/7,” she said dryly. “You get over yourself after a while and learn to enjoy the good.”
Now, it takes a true friend to tell you to get over yourself in such a way that you don’t want to lean over the car hood and smack her. Angie is that kind of friend. Lucky for her.
(In all honesty, Angie has a brown belt in karate and could drop kick me from here to Australia.)
Anyway, I’ve got a NEW question for all the parents out there.
Why do some parents keep their unborn child’s name a secret?
Recently, some friends of ours decided they weren’t going to tell anyone the name they had chosen for their unborn daughter. When I learned a friend-of-a-friend was expecting, I joyfully asked her what she was going to name her baby. “We’re not telling anyone,” she told me.
I have to say I am as human as the next person, and while secrets often do intrigue me, they also frustrate me. I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t understand why people make such a big deal out of keeping it a secret.
I understand people have a right to privacy, and I wouldn’t want to violate it. But when you’ve already told people you’re having a baby, why would you choose that moment to clam up? People are happy for you, and they want to share in your joy.
Does the secrecy make you feel powerful? That’s the vibe I get from people sometimes, plus the old, “I know something you don’t know” which I have to say feels like snobbery.
I mean, we all know you’re going to name your child something, so why the big secret?
Those of you who may have some insight, feel free to shed light on this topic for me. I’m truly curious, and I'm sure there’s some part of the big picture I’m just not getting.
I should offer this disclaimer - I am half-Rehfeldt. In our BIG family, most of us live open book lives. We DO share TMI on occasion, but often just because we want to know more about you, so we can strengthen our relationship with you. What can I say? We’re relatable relatives! And proud of it. And vocal about it. Have I mentioned the TMI? And had you already guessed the vocal part?