Booby Trap

VERY female post ahead, readers. Men, the weak stomached, or those easily offended take note.

Okay, I’m going to preface this post by saying I don’t care about breastfeeding.

I really, really don’t.

I don’t care if a mother breastfeeds her baby, gives it formula, or hands it over to a Brazilian wet nurse. I. Don’t. Care.

I also don’t care if a woman breastfeeds in public. If a woman wants to whip out her breasts - discreetly or not - it’s fine. I have the same equipment. I have seen breasts before.

Most people I know, even if they’re not women, have seen breasts at some time in their lives. It should not be a traumatic event.

I understand it’s mostly about choice when it comes to a baby’s feeding, blah, blah, blah. Feeding in public, blah, blah, blah.

The truth is that I don’t want to think about it. Despite the fact I don’t care and am not opinionated on the matter, does not mean I want to think about it. It makes me kind of queasy, and I’m perfectly happy to be in that time of my life when I don’t have to think about it.

I was, however, taken by surprise when I was driving home the other night and saw a giant billboard proclaiming “Babies were born to be breastfed.”

At first, I was like, “Oh, well. Yuck. Thanks for making me think about that.” I naturally assumed the board was sponsored by the La Leche League of Women Voters or whoever those people are.

Imagine my surprise when I saw the board was sponsored by the Ad Council.

The Ad Council?

The Ad Council is an award-winning, well-known advertising agency that does a great deal of excellent non-profit work. Usually for social causes, such as AIDS prevention, NAACP promotion, or violence prevention against women.

It seemed strange to me the Ad Council would do an ad for breastfeeding. I just didn’t get it.

And the ad itself seemed awkward.

I mean, I’m not even a mother, and I thought, “Don’t tell me how to feed my baby.”

An ad that makes people get defensive, even people with faulty reproductive organs, is not doing all that great of a job.

And the ad isn’t even accurate. Not all babies ARE born to be breastfed. How many of us were unable to take our mother’s milk at birth? And what about abandoned or adopted babies? THANK GOD for formula, alternative methods, and emerging technology.

Now, often times, I know it’s a woman’s choice of whether or not to breastfeed her baby. I’ve no doubt there are HUGE health benefits to be reaped by such a positive choice.

The Ad Council would have done better to post those benefits, such as “Babies who are breastfed….” Ending with some sort of healthy statistic.

As an ad consumer, I probably would have still thought “Yuck!” But it would have been followed by “Hmm…I didn’t know that.” And perhaps in the gazillion-to-never years it takes us to actually have a baby I might have been more persuaded to join the ranks of the naturalists.

My opinion is also a reflection of my outrage that nothing is private anymore. No topic is sacred.

Another billboard nearby claims “Grow with Hydroponics,” and features a well endowed woman in a bikini. For the longest time, I thought hydroponics were breast enhancement supplements.

I was surprised to learn it was actually a technology used to grow large plants, vegetables, fruits, and herbs. What it had to do with a well endowed woman in a bikini was - a little too sexual, in my opinion.

I get tired of all the cheesy Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis ads on TV. The lack of any body part and any external or internal function remaining even slightly private seems to be wishful thinking.

So, when I saw the breastfeeding ad, I thought, “Here we go again. Now I have to think about other women’s boobs secreting milk. Thanks SO much.”

It might as well have read “Vaginas were meant to be yeast-free!”

In my opinion, the Ad Council needs to stick to more solid social topics that most of us can get behind.

And avoid ones that make some of us go “Yuck!”

Although…this post is a little on the yucky side.