To the guy in the white truck in front me when I was driving to work this morning –
You know who you are, license plate number 13571 D!
You were talking on your HUGE cell phone the entire drive from Roscoe to Rockford. You consistently drove 10 miles under the speed limit and apparently thought it was jolly good fun to step on your brakes every three seconds. Of course, you would speed up every time some driver had the audacity to try and pass you and your freak show.
You were a menace on the road. You need to get over your zipper insecurity, or at least that’s what I HOPE you were checking when you looked down in your lap every other minute.
Get off your phone, keep your head up, and at the very least – drive the posted speed limit.
Or so help me if I see you again.