Friday, February 15, 2008

Road Rage

The roads are terrible.

Snowfalls are nearing record totals, and the constant salting of the roads has corroded all major traffic arteries with jagged potholes. Driving to work today, I felt like a military convoy on the roads in war-torn Bosnia.

Sing it with me -
'Cause we gotta little ol' convoy, rockin' through the night.

Yeah we gotta little ol' convoy; ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on an' join our convoy, ain't nothin' gonna git in our way!
We're gonna roll this truckin' convoy, cross the USA.
Convoy. Convoy.

The tire stores, body, shops, and snow removal companies are raking it in this year, that’s for sure.

I haven’t been all over Rockford yet, but the roads I HAVE been traveling on are just terrible.

Alpine in the stretch between Spring Creek and Riverside is a HAZARD. When Brett and I took Alpine after Megan’s play last Saturday, I felt like I was in an action movie as Brett swerved dramatically from one side of the road to the other to avoid the deep ruts.

I wanted (desperately) to look out the back window and yell, “Hurry, they’re gaining on us!” An overhead chopper right about that time would have been awesome.

Up for second worst road is Riverside in the stretch between North Main and North Second. Imagine, if you will, driving with three blown tires – BINGO – that’s Riverside by the bridge!

Driving that stretch will also introduce you to Lady Liberty and Male Lady Liberty. These are two people hired by Liberty Tax Service (in the North Towne Mall) to dress as the Statue of Liberty and stand outside in the cold, calf-deep in the snow, waving to passing motorists (who are often also angry motorists due to Riverside’s condition), beckoning them to step inside and get their taxes done.

Just what I want to think about as I’m driving on a dangerous road, worrying about my tires, and lamenting my recently frozen windshield wiper fluid.

Yep, getting my taxes done sounds REAL appealing right about then.

And I always feel sorry for the Liberties. I mean, they stand there in pouring rain, driving snow, and frigid temperatures, just to try to get one person to use the tax service. It’s almost cruel, in a way.

I tell myself maybe these people REALLY needed a job, and this was all that was available. And I suppose, if that’s it, then that’s it.

But it’s not exactly a cheerful thought pulsating in my mind as I struggle down Riverside in the dark.

Auburn Street has its fair share of potholes, as well, and (for now) comes in third on the list.

I’m trying to avoid the worst of it (one accident every 29 years is enough for me, I’d say). If you know of any pitted roads in Rockford, Roscoe, Machesney Park, or Loves Park, please let me know!

Or join my convoy…


Alice said...

Oh my goodness, stay away from Newburg between Alpine and Mulford. BRUTAL.

Heidi said...

and 20th St between Charles and Harrison. Ugh. We took it to church on Wednesday to avoid S. Alpine between Newburg and Harrison and I think it ended up being worse.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry about the roads... I'm actually still in shock that you; YOU know the song "convoy". Wow! And I could sing along...

WendyJanelle said...

"They're gaining on us"...I just laughed through the rest of the email. As usual, you are hilarious.
If I were you, I'd just avoid going anyway unnecessary. But Tob can attest to my intense fear of driving in dangerous situations. If no one is dying, stay inside!

Juliet said...

Well, if you really want an rough ride, follow Alice's husband, Darren in the closed Hilanders paking lot on Charles St. HA If you think Walt Disney had fun rides..try this one! Right Alice?
(Darren, did say he was sorry when we got to should be.:))

And for the Lady Liberty...I just wave should see the big smile they return when you do that. Now I do not want any smart comment from you Ann-Marie about trying to wave to them on a bumpy road... understood! Love, Mom

Jennittia said...

You just make me LAUGH!!!! I love your writing! But, I do believe that after living in both Rockford and New Hampshire, I have never seen anything like this winter here. We are curruntly at 89 inches of snow and still counting!!

Ann-Marie said...

Tob - Are there people who DON'T know "Convoy?" I'd be the shocked one! It IS a country song, you know!

Wendy - Driving is also not my favorite thing to do. If I didn't have to drive to work...I'd probably rarely leave the house!

J - 89 inched. You definitely win! I bet your roads are just...icky! At least you were more prepared than if you had lived in Texas! :-)