In a Long Time

When Mom and I were in the delivery room with Candice, I decided to use Mom’s camera to take the first baby photos.

I didn’t know how to use Candice’s camera, and (to be honest) I felt it would be tacky to make her demonstrate her camera mere moments after issuing another human being from her person.

Mom eventually made a CD for Candice of the first baby photos. Brett and I decided to drop it off at Candice’s this Friday. We did this mainly because someone (me) couldn’t wait to see that cuddly little mass of cuteness again.

When we got to Candice’s, I got to feed Brielle. This was a very big step for me.

Don’t laugh. Those of you who know me – know I have a phobia of babies. Especially newborns.

This stems from when I dropped a newborn on her head.

I was only 14 years old. I was working in the church nursery, and someone assumed I was competent enough to handle a newborn. However, I was unprepared when she suddenly squirmed, and I dropped her. Right there on the nursery’s (thankfully, carpeted) floor.

I was mortified, embarrassed, and convinced I had killed a kid. Props to the baby’s mom for not going ballistic. She quickly rescued the baby from the floor, did a swift check for injuries, and then smiled at me with a, “Looks like she’s fine.”

She was an absolute angel to not yell, scream, or even walk away angrily. But, from that teenage moment on, I’ve been petrified of holding newborns. Their little heads just flop around, and they are unbelievably tiny.

Mostly, I’ve been able to say, “No, thanks.” when people ask if I “want to hold the baby.”

If people persist, I tell them my actually-dropped-a-newborn-once story. I like to tack on that if the incident had ended differently, I would have spent my high school years in juvie, as opposed to Berean (though I doubt the two were ALL that different).

But when Candice announced she was pregnant, I thought, “I have got to get over this fear!”

Candice was great at encouraging me. “I know you’ll do great with Brielle,” she said, without even a hint of fear that I might drop her. Right after Brielle was born, Candice carefully and patiently walked me through the process of how to hold the baby, and transfer the baby from arm to arm.

She didn’t laugh at me, or imply the fact that I knew squat about babies after 29 years was something to be ashamed of.

So, when we stopped by on Friday, she asked if I wanted to try feeding Brielle.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“It’s not hard,” she promised. She handed me my sweet niece (I’d like to proudly add I had no problem handling her this time!), and showed me how to feed her. Moments later, I was enraptured at watching the many faces of Brielle! It was so sweet.

I even burped her, although Candice says I need to work on patting Brielle’s back harder.

“I don’t want to give her a bruise!” I said.

“You won’t!” Candice assured me.

I held her for a while, before she fell asleep, and I got to examine that adorable face, little hands, and exquisite toes! I was in “Aunt” heaven!

After Brielle was asleep, Brett wanted to hold her for a while, and it was the cutest thing to see my gigantic husband with such a tiny baby. A-dorable!

Later Brielle went down for her nap, and Brett and I enjoyed hanging out with Candice, her best friend Sarah, BJ, Maria, Uncle Billy, and Lina. We talked, had pizza, and watched TV on Uncle Billy’s MASSIVE big screen – all while comfortably ensconced in Uncle Billy’s new micro-suede furniture.

It was nice to getting to know Sarah. We were actually in high school together, but she and Candice were two years younger, so I didn’t really know her all that well. In high school, two years make a big difference. Although, Sarah did date a guy in my class, so I was vaguely aware of her. We really hit it off last night, and the three of us girls laughed and laughed.

Later, I told Brett it was like being back in college when all I did was hang out with my friends and laugh. I didn’t realized how much I missed it until last night.

BJ, as always, managed to entertain us with movies, YouTube videos, and manic photo-taking with his camera equipment.

Maria, Uncle Billy, and Lina put up with the laughing lot of us amazingly well. They even joined the “party.” I told Candice that Lina kept smiling because, “She’s glad HER relatives are SANE. Unlike us crazy people!”

It was a really fun Friday. More fun than I’ve had in long time. I miss hanging out in a group and just laughing, talking, and trading good-natured sarcasm with pros like Sarah, Candice, and BJ.

Sarah and I even had the chance to delve into spiritual topics for a while, and I was reminded how wonderful it is to have the spiritual bond that can cross any divide. We didn’t agree on everything (guess who talked about women’s “roles?”), but we did agree on the MAIN POINTS, and it was a truly enriching discussion.

It’s so wonderful to have Christian friends, where there isn’t that “wall” that exists with non-believer friends. You can literally talk about anything!

I wanted to post this experience, since it left me feeling so refreshed and happy about being with family and friends.

I don’t ever want to take that for granted.