Early Morning Murder (She Wrote, That Is)

Some days I lament marrying my complete opposite.

“What was I thinking?” I’ll ask myself as my sometimes-better half drags out his old pup tent while I pull on my purse to head to the movies.

Our ideas of recreation (save for one :-) are SO very different. I go shopping. He goes shooting. I like the sit down ambiance of an Applebee’s, while he goes for Arby’s (where he doesn’t have to tip anybody). I take the most direct route to a destination; he meanders all over creation trying to get “the lay of the land.”

All I’ve learned about the “lay of the land” is that it tends to make us late.

Speaking of which, I hate to be late. I’m from a family where we set our clock ahead ten minutes to avoid ever being late. I’m an early bird.

Then I married my husband.

Being late is a part of his family heritage. I’ve been to family “lunch” barbeques when the grill didn’t get fired up until 8:00 p.m. They are the kind of people who call to invite you to a birthday party a scant two hours before it actually happens. They are the people who show up late for EVERYTHING and act amazed that you “started” without them.

The problem with being late for something when you are a woman is that people assume it’s because YOU took so long to get ready. They take one look at you and think, “Way to shellac that hair into place, lady. Why don’t you work on saving the earth and try to be on time for a change?”

While your husband, who can get ready in less than five minutes, shrugs his shoulders like, “You know women…”

HA! I laugh out loud! HA! I was SO ready. I was the one tugging you out of bed at the last five minutes threatening divorce to try and wake you up enough to stumble your way to the shower.

I’d like to state for the record all the times “we’ve” been late for anything. IT WASN’T ME!

I guess when you are married to your complete opposite you tend to appreciate the shared interests even more. Like for instance, when we were bored out of our minds last night, it was easy enough to pull out Sequence and get a rip-roaring game going. We played in our room, where we would stop occasionally and laugh at our bunnies’ antics. We talked about our days as we pounced on each others’ game pieces and unapologetically played DEFENSE!

And sometimes, being married to an opposite works to your advantage. Like this morning, I got up early to watch my Murder She Wrote DVD while Brett (an admitted sleepyhead) slept in. As soon as he was getting up and getting ready, my shows were finishing, and we switched places while I went and got ready. It was nice use of shared time, and I do so cherish my alone time in the morning.

I have a friend who is married to a man who is energetic and likes to get up early with her and start the day off together. “It drives me nuts,” she admitted to me at lunch recently. “All I really want is a couple hours alone!”

So, I guess it all even out in the end. Perhaps the best thing about the oppositely-married situation is that you don’t tend to force your idea of fun on the other person because you know that they don’t want your idea of fun either.

In other words, I don’t ask Brett to go to movies, so I don’t have to go camping. Ever.

Because you know if I ever WAS to be late for anything…that would be it.