Antics of the Elderly

There is an amazing network of older, retired people in the area who will come and volunteer for various jobs at local organizations. One of these organizations is my company.

Yesterday, we had several of these volunteers help us with a 1,500 piece mailing.

And, oh my, did I laugh!

The morning group consisted of two retired couples and two single ladies. They were a very efficient group and did the bulk of the work.

The afternoon group was a delegation of single, feisty women who were, well, how should I say…amusingly crotchety.

My favorite was Gladys. She was partially blind and very frail. Her job was to seal the envelopes using a glue stick sealer. Well, the poor woman was half blind, so for a while she was sealing the wrong side of the envelopes.

Thankfully, the other women caught her and yelled down the table, “GLADYS, THAT’S THE WRONG SIDE!”

Gladys was embarrassed, so I went and got a colored sheet of paper to put under the envelopes so she could see the color difference and seal the envelope correctly.

Because she was so frail, poor Gladys couldn’t squeeze the envelope sealer very well. She kept trying, pressing the flap closed, and passing it to the woman doing the stamping, Rosemarie.

Rosemarie, who was starting to get annoyed, kept passing it back. “IT’S NOT SEALED, GLADYS. YOU HAVE TO SQUEEZE IT HARDER!”

“I AM SQUEEZING IT!” Gladys would yell back. Frustrated, Rosemarie finally started “re-sealing” the envelopes from Gladys.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING MY JOB? THAT’S MY JOB!” Gladys complained.

Finally, I convinced Gladys to take a break.

“Oh, you have doughnuts,” she said. “I love doughnuts. Maybe you have my favorite kind.”

“What kind are those?” I asked.

“The kind with holes,” Rosemarie muttered under her breath while re-sealing all of Gladys’ envelopes behind her back.

I had to bite my tongue to stop from laughing.

Back at the table, Gladys chomped down and said, “These are the worst doughnuts ever. They’re so bland.”

“Gladys,” Rosemary sighed. “That isn’t a doughnut. That’s a bagel. The doughnuts are on the other table.”

I left the room for minute so I didn’t burst out with laughter.

Later, when the ladies were leaving, Gladys headed out to the car and promptly tried to open the trunk to get in. One of the other ladies, the one who was driving, directed Gladys to the passenger side and helped her in.

I couldn’t help myself. I laughed for a good twenty minutes.

Days like these, I love my job, and the joy it brings! God bless the elderly…and Gladys.